Cullen Aim!
by LostInEnigmas
Summary: What happens when the Cullens find AIM? Wellllllllllll... Bella becomes a sharpie addict, Emmett meets Chuck Norris, we find out there is an evil muffin out to get the Cullens, Edward starts to purrr,and SO MUCH FREAKING MORE! Hehe read and review! :
1. HeHe MY SHARPIES!

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight!

**Cullen Aim**

**Screen Names**

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpie

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmet- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Neisse- Vamp*Girl*Wolf

* * *

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed on.

MindIntruder has signed on.

MindIntruder- hey Bella!

BellaSmellaSharpie- *giggle* hi eddy *giggle*

MindIntruder- Why are giggling?

BellaSmellaSharpie- did you not read my screen name?

MindIntruder- Oh I did, I was just hoping it wasn't true.

BellaSmellaSharpie- oh no, silly it's true. Charlie bought me the scented kind. There soooo addicting!!!!!!

MindIntrder- Oh dear, Bella I'm coming over there.

MindIntruder has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpie- you will never find my sharpie stash! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!


	2. Bella's High?

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpie

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmet- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Neisse- Vamp*Girl*Wolf

* * *

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed.

ShopTillUDrop- Hi Bella!

BellaSmellaSharpie- heyyyyyyyy tehe!

ShopTillUDrop- Sooo what's up?

BellaSmellaSharpie- ummmm the sky?

ShopTillUDrop- ?

BellaSmellaSharpie- you said what's up. the sky is up, so I said the sky. what r u confused about?

ShopTillUDrop- Forget it.

*Silence*

BellaSmellaSharpie- ha ha ha hahahahaha ha hahaha ha ha!!

ShopTillUDrop- What's so funny?

BellaSmellaSharpie- Nothing, I'm smelling a cherry sharpie and its making me feel so happy!!!

ShopTillUDrop- I thought Edward took all of them away from you?

BellaSmellaSharpie- no I hid the really good ones from him.

WhiteHulk has signed on.

*WhiteHulk reads above.*

WhiteHulk- LOL! Bella your high?

BellaSmellaSharpie- yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

WhiteHulk- Alice imagine the possibilities!!! This is so great!

ShopTillUDrop- I'm not getting into this. I'm going to go shop

BellaSmellaSharpie- O! plzzzz get me some sharpie's, air freshener and paper bags. Plz and thnx!

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

MindIntruder has signed on.

MindIntruder- Bella are you still high?

BellaSmellaSharpie- maybe I am, maybe I'm not. You'll never no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *giggle*

MindIntruder- I'll take that as a yes.

WhiteHulk- Edward! This isn't a bad thing! Imagine the possibilities.

MindIntruder- Like….

WhiteHulk- We can make her dance in the street with a hobo for money!!!!

MindIntruder- We don't need money.

BellaSmellaSharpie- oooooooo I like that idea! can I do it eddie, plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?

MindIntruder- NO! I'm coming over there to take all your sharpies away!

MindIntruder has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpie-NOOOOOOOOOO! EMMETT HELP ME!

WhiteHulk- OK! I'm coming!

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed off.

WhiteHulk has signed off.

2ManyEmotions has signed on.

2ManyEmotions!- Ohh man I miss all the good stuff!

2ManyEmotions! signed off.


	3. Sharpie Restock

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight!

**Screen Names**

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpie

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Neisse- Vamp*Girl*Wolf

* * *

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

WhiteHulk has signed on.

TellMeI'mPretty!! has signed on.

2ManyEmotions has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpie- ALICE! ALICE! DID YOU GET ME MY STUFF?!?

ShopTillUDrop- Yes I did but you can't tell Edward that I bought it for you.

BellaSmellaSharpie- OK! I WOUNT! BUT BRING ME THE STUFF NOW!!!!

WhiteHulk- Why are you yelling?

BellaSmellaSharpie- because I haven't smelled a sharpie since Edward stole mine!!!

ShopeTillUDrop- ok ok im coming. Brb people.

TellMeImPretty!!- Why does she need sharpies?

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff sniff* to get high daaaaaaaaaaa!

2ManyEmtions! - O great.

WhiteHulk- Yes it is really great!!!

ShopTillUDrop- I'm back!

MindIntruder has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop- O crap!

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

TellMeIPretty!!- This wount be good.

TellMeImPretty!! has signed off.

MindIntruder- Bella are you high?

BellaSmellaSharpie- maybe, maybe not. Tehe!

MindIntruder- I'll take that as a yes. Emmett! Jasper! Who bought Bella sharpies?

WhiteHulk- Wow, for a mind reader your really slow. It was Al-Jasper! It was Jasper!

2ManyEmotions!- What? No it wasn't! Edward read his mind, he's lying!

MindIntruder- Your right Jasper! Emmett you liar! I will kill you after I kill Alice!!!

ShopTillUDrop signed on.

ShopTillUDrop- you'll never catch me!!!

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

MindIntruder has signed off.

WhiteHulk- oo a fight! Just what I wanted!

WhiteHulk has signed off.

2ManyEmotions!- o no Alice is in trouble!!!

2ManyEmotions! signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpie- If you're happy and you know it sniff a sharpie! *sniff sniff* If you're happy and you know it sniff a sharpie! *sniff sniff* If your happy and you know it and your smile can barley show it, If you're happy and you know it sniff a sharpie! *sniff sniff*

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed off.


	4. When You Can Live Forever

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpie

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmet- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Neisse- Vamp*Girl*Wolf

* * *

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed on.

MindIntruder has signed on.

WhateverMakesUHappy has signed on.

MindIntruder- Hi Bella, hi Carlisle.

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff sniff* hey Eddie!!!!!!! *sniff*

WhateverMakesUHappy- Hi Edward. I am starting to see what

you mean about Bella being addicted to sharpies.

MindIntruder- *sigh* I'm afraid there is no help for her.

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff sniff* I'm sorry! Its just sooooooo good!

*Silence*

WhateverMakesUHappy- Anyway… Edward I have a question for you.

MindIntruder- Go ahead.

WhateverMakesUHappy- O.k., when you can live forever, what do you live for?

MindIntruder- Oh, that's easy Bella.

BellaSmellaSharpie- O! O! O! can I answere too?

WhateverMakesUHappy- Sure Bella.

BellaSmellaSharpie- O.K. My answere is very easy to! I live for Sharpies!!!!!!!!!!

MindIntruder- What!?! What about me???????????

BelllaSmellaSharpie- oh you came in second.

WhateverMakesUHappy- Oh, that must hurt Edward.

MindIntrder- Shut up Carlisle. I'm leaving.

BellaSmellaSharpie- bye Eddie!!!!

MindIntruder has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff sniff sniff sniff*

WhateverMakesHappy- Is that all you do in your spare time?

BellaSmellaSharpie- ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes!

WhateverMakesUHappy- O.k. then I'm leaving bye.

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff* Bye Carly!

WhateverMakesUHappy has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff*

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed off.


	5. Depressed Edward

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpie

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmet- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Neisse- Vamp*Girl*Wolf

* * *

WhateverMakesUHappy has signed on.

BigHappyFamily has signed on.

WhateverMakesUHappy- Hi Esme!

BigHappyFamily- Hello Carlisle!!!! How is work so far?

WhateverMakesUHappy- Not that busy, that's why I'm on AIM. How was your day so far?

BigHappyFamily- Not so good.

WhateverMakesUHappy- Why?

BigHappyFamily- Because Edward is sitting in the emo corner muttering about how sharpies are taking his life away. He wount tell me why though!

WhateverMakesUHappy- oh, I know what that's about. I just didn't know he was sitting in the emo corner.

BigHappyFamily- What happened to him?

WhateverMakesUHappy- Yesterday I asked Edward " when you can live forever what do you live for?" and he said Bella. I asked Bella the same thing and she said sharpies.

BigHappyFamily- oh, that explains why he took all the sharpies in the house and burned them.

WhiteHulk has signed on

WhiteHulk- Mommy! Daddy! There is a biggggggggg problem!!!

WhateverMakesUHappy- What?!? What happened Emmett?

WhiteHulk- Well Edward finally left his room. He was getting ready to go somewhere. I asked him where he was going and he said he was going to blow up all the sharpie factories in the world!!!!!! I told him that he shouldn't do that and he told me to go die in a hole. I told him I couldn't die, then he tried to light me on fire. I barely got away!!!!!

BigHappyFamily- O MY CARLISLE! WE HAVE TO STOP HIM!!!!!!!

WhateverMakesUHappy- On my way!!!

WhateverMakesUHappy signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed on.

*reads above*

BellaSmellaSharpie-*sniff sniff* OH NO SHARPIES I'LL SAVE YOU!

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed off.

BigHappyFamily- oh dear, I better save her before she hurts herself.

WhiteHulk- WAIT!

BigHappyFamily- what?

WhiteHulk- I'm scared.

BigHappyFamily- Its ok Emmett. Its ok.

BigHappyFamily has logged off.

WhiteHulk- Oh no! now I'm scared AND alone!!!! Why me?!?!?

WhiteHulk has signed off.


	6. Sharpie Murderer!

**Disclaimer- I do ****not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpie

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Neisse- Vamp*Girl*Wolf

* * *

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpie- ALICE! ALICE! ALICE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!!!!!

ShopTillUDrop- ok Bella calm down. What's up?

BellaSmellaSharpie- we have been over this! the sky is up!! But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about! Did Edward get to any of the sharpie factories?????????

ShopTillUDrop- no Bella he didn't.

BellaSmellaSharpie- REALLY?!? WOOOHOOOO!!!!! CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!(lets celebrate) CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!(lets celebrate) WOOO HOOOO!!!IM SOOOOOOO HAPPY!*sniff sniff*

ShopTillUDrop- ya Bella I can tell.

WhateverMakesUHappy has signed on.

MindIntruder has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpie- oh no the big butthead, sharpie murderer is on!!!!!!!!*sniff sniff*

WhateverMakesUHappy- Bella be nice.

BellaSmellaSharpie- but he's a meanie.

WhateverMakesUHappy- that may be true, but you still have to be nice. He came on to tell you something.

MindIntruder- yes love. I came on to tell you-

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff sniff* I don't care what you have to say! Lalalalalalalalalalalala-

WhateverMakesUHappy- BELLA LISTEN!

BellaSmellaSharpie- fine!

MindIntruder- As I was saying. I'm sorry and I love you. I won't ever ever ever do that again. I was just mad.

BellaSmellaSharpie- Awwwww that's soooo sweet! TO BAD I DON'T CARE YOU SHARPIE MURDERER!!!

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed off.

ShopTillUDrop- I totally saw that coming. This is boring, I'm going shopping bye-bye.

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

MindIntruder- Carlisle you liar!!! You said if I apologized she would forgive me!!!

WhateverMakesUHappy- Welll sorry! I cant see the future!

MindIntruder- your right! This is all Alice's fault! I should blame her! Thanks Carlisle!!

MindIntruder has signed off.

WhateverMakesUHappy- I never said that! O forget it!

WhateverMakesUHappy has signed off.

WhiteHulk has signed on.

WhiteHulk- why isn't anyone ever on?!?!?

WhiteHulk has signed off.


	7. Sharpie Bad, Edward Good

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpie

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Neisse- Vamp*Girl*Wolf

* * *

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed on.

MindIntruder signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpie- oh no its you.

MindIntruder- no Bella love please don't go!

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff* why not?

MindIntruder- because I want this fight to be over. You know I love you. And sharpies are really not good for you.

BellaSmellaSharpie- so? You wount give me what I want! Why should I give you what you want???

MindIntruder- because it's the right thing to do! And you know why I can't give you what you want!

BellaSmellaSharpie- fine! then tell me something! How the hell should I quite?*sniff*

MindIntruder-for starters try not to sniff a sharpie for at least 5 minutes.

BellaSmellaSharpie- fine I'll try.

*1 and a half minutes later*

BellaSmellaSharpie- *Sniff* Dang it! I cant do it!!!!

MindIntruder-that's okay Bella just keep trying.

BellaSmellaSharpie- *sniff cry* I cant do it!!!!

MindIntruder- hmmmm maybe if you tried something else. Like eating or drinking.

BellaSmellaSharpie- ooo idea!!!!

MindIntruder-what?

BellaSmellaSharpie- I could eat peanuts!!!!!!

MindIntruder- umm ok.

BellaSmellaSharpie- let me go get a bag!

MindIntruder- ok.

BellaSmellaSharpie- I'm back!!! *crunch*

MindIntruder- ok don't sniff for 5 minutes.

BellaSmellaSharpie- ok

*5 minutes later*

MindIntruder- see you did it!

BellaSmellaSharpie- *crunch * ya but man I feel bad!!!

MindIntruder- its ok, that's normal when you try to break a habit. Eat some of your peanuts.

BellaSmellaSharpie- ok. *crunch* *sniff* DANG IT!!!! MY SCREEN NAME MADE THIS ALL THE WORSE! I JUST HAD TO SNIFF!

MindIntruder- well since your quieting maybe you should change your screen name.

BellaSmellaSharpie- no not until I for sure quite.

MindIntruder- ok try again.

BellaSmellaSharpie- ok but I'm going to sign off because my screen name is tempting me to much! Bye!

MindIntruder- ok bye.

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed off.

WhiteHulk has signed on.

WhiteHulk -oooo a person!!!!

MindIntruder- got to go!

MindIntruder has signed off.

WhiteHulk- dang it!!

WhiteHulk has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpie- I'm resisting!*sniff* dang it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed off.


	8. No More Sharpie's

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpie

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Neisse- Vamp*Girl*Wolf

* * *

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed on.

MindIntruder has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpie- Edward! Edward! I have good news and bad news to tell you!!!

MindIntruder- ok Bella give me the good news first.

BellaSmellaSharpie- ok! I haven't sniffed a sharpie in 4 hours!!!!! Its getting a little easier to!!!!!!

MindIntruder- that's great Bella! what's the bad news?

BellaSmellaSharpie- well the peanuts are making me sick! I swear if I have one more I'm going to puke!!!!!

MindIntruder- oh! Hmmmmmm how about this? Every time you want to sniff a sharpie you ignore it. Like we have to do with blood. It can be practice.

BellaSmellaSharpie- I don't know if I can do that though.

MindIntruder- just try. I have faith in you.

BellaSmellaSharpie- ok fine ill try.

MindIntruder- but first maybe you should change your screen.

BellaSmellaSharpie- oh ok. Brb

BellaSmellaSharpie has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- how about that?

MindIntruder- very original (sarcastic tone)

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I know!!! Isn't it great?

MindIntruder- ya. Well I have to go hunt good luck with the whole sharpie thing. Bye love!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- ok tnx byebye!

MindIntruder has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I can do it! I can do it!

2ManyEmotions! Has signed on.

2ManyEmotions! - you can do what?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- WHY DOSNT ANYONE READ MY SCREEN NAME?!?!?

2ManyEmotions!- geez calm down!! I just didn't believe it was true! How are you managing to quit?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- well first, every time I wanted to sniff a sharpie I would eat a peanut. But then I got sick of them. I asked Edward what I should do and he said I should just ignore it like you do with blood. You know, I think I finally feel your pain!

2ManyEmotions!- finally! Someone understands me!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey hey hey, I just said I feel your pain. I never said that I understand you.

2ManyEmotions!- ouch! That was low Bella. Very low!

2ManyEmotions! Has signed off.

LonelyWolf has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- who are you?

LonelyWolf- I'm Jacob Black. Is that you Bella?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- oh hi Jake!!! Ya its me!

LonelyWolf- Billy told me you were addicted to sharpies. Glad to see your quitting.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO READS MY SCREEN NAME!!!

LonelyWolf- ??

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- long story.

LonelyWolf- oh well do you wanna come over?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- glad you asked! Edward just went hunting!

LonelyWolf- sweet! Hurry before some one stops you!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- on my way!!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed off.

LonelyWolf has signed off.

WhiteHulk has signed on.

WhiteHulk- waaaaaaaaaaaaa! No people, vampires, or werewolfs that's just not fair!!!!!!!!!

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

WhiteHulk- yes! A vampire! Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!

ShopTillUDrop- this is boring. I'm going shopping. Bye!

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

WhiteHulk- nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

BigHappyFamily has signed on.

WhiteHulk- your not going to sign of are you?

BigHappyFamily - well actually Alice told me you were lonely, so I came on to ask you if you wanted to help make brownies? there for Bella. I'm so glad she is quitting her addiction.

WhiteHulk- psh no! cooking is for girls! I'm a big strong man!

BigHappyFamily - no ones home.

WhiteHulk- oh coming!!!!!!

WhiteHulk has signed off.

BigHappyFamily has signed off.


	9. SHE'S WITH WHO?

**Disclaimer- I do not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

* * *

MindIntruder has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

MindIntruder- Alice! Where the hell is Bella?!?

ShopTillUDrop- oh, she went to hang out with Jake.

MindIntruder- WHAT?!? YOU LET BELLA GO HANG WITH A WEREWOLF? HOW COULD YOU?!?

ShopTillUDrop- hey I never said I was thrilled about it. But I'm not going to be an overprotective, annoying, vampire.

MindIntruder- I'm not over protective.

ShopTillUDrop- ok sure, we will go with that.

MindIntruder- when will she be back?

ShopTillUDrop- how am I supposed to know?

MindIntruder-YOU'RE A PHYSICIC! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?

ShopTillUDrop- geeze! Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

MindIntruder- IM A VAMPIRE! I HAVENT SLEPT ON A BED IN AT LEAST 100 YEARS!

ShopTillUDrop- I wouldn't say you haven't slept…

MindIntruder- *nervous laugh* Alice that is besides the point!

ShopTillUDrop- that doesn't stop me from seeing the visions! I mean seriously Edward you think I like seeing that?

MindIntruder- welll I do.

ShopTillUDrop- OH GOD!

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

MindIntruder- what did I say?

MindIntruder has signed off.


	10. HOLY MOTHER FLIPPING CRAP!

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

* * *

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed on.

MindIntruder has signed on.

MindIntruder- Bella! I'm so glad your on! are you okay?!?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- of course. Why wouldn't I be?

MindIntruder- because you were with a werewolf!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- O.M.E! FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME; HE IS NOT DANGEROUSE!!!

MindIntruder- but Bella, werewolves are very unstable-

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I know, I know! You don't have to tell me every time. Just plz trust me. Plz.

MindIntruder- but what if you get hurt?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I'm willing to take that chance.

MindIntruder- *sigh* fine, but can I come over? I miss you.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I miss you to. Come now!

MindIntruder- on my way!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed off.

MindIntruder has signed off.

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

2ManyEmotions! Has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop- hi jazz! How are you?

2ManyEmotions!- hello Alice! I'm great!

ShopTillUDrop- cool!

WhiteHulk has signed on.

WhiteHulk- hey people! Whats up??????????

ShopTillUDrop- heyy Emmett. Nothing much. Me and Jazz are just really bored.

WhiteHulk- oh, me to!

*silence*

ShopTillUDrop- HOLY MOTHER FLIPPING CRAP!

WhiteHulk- what!?! Esme is flipping crap!?! And she's holy? I wanna be holy too! I have to be there!

WhiteHulk has signed off.

ShopTillUDrop- *laughing her had off* haha that was hahaha pricless! hahahaha

2ManyEmotions!- alice? What was that all about?

ShopTillUDrop- hahahahaha I saw a vision that if I said that he would go ask Esme to flip crap with her. Haha he is also going to ask haha to get holy.

2ManyEmotions!- *chuckle* you're a smart one.

ShopTillUDrop- ha I know. Is Esme mad?

2ManyEmotions!- no she's actually laughing.

ShopTillUDrop- cool, so maybe I wount get in trouble.

BigHappyFamily has signed on.

BigHappyFamily- did you tell Emmett that I was flipping crap? And that I'm holy?

ShopTillUDrop- maybe…

BigHappyFamily- alice?

ShopTillUDrop- okay fine I did. I'm sorry.

BigHappyFamily- its okay alice, I'm not mad. But just don't bring this up again. Emmett is in the emo corner crying about how he wants to become holy.

2ManyEmotions!- ha that's funny.

BigHappyFamily- it kinnda is, but don't bring it up again.

ShopTillUDrop- okay.

BigHappyFamily- gotta go stop Emmett before he does anything harsh. Bye

BigHappyFamily has signed off.

ShopTillUDrop- I'm going to go shopping. You wanna come?

2ManyEmotions!- sure.

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

2ManyEmotions! Has signed off.


	11. Oh Blondie!

**Disclaimer- I do ****not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

**TO ALL BLONDES WHO READ THIS : SORRY IF IT OFFENEDS YOU!!! **

LonelyWolf has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

TellMeI'mPretty!! has signed on.

LonelyWolf- o! Blondie is on! I can try out my blonde jokes!

ShopTillUDrop- let me guess, lonlywolf is jake, right?

LonelyWolf- ya I am! Ok here I go with my jokes, blondes are so stupid that when they get locked in a grocery store they starve to death! haha

TellMeI'mPretty!!- that doesn't offend me because I don't have to eat. So I wouldn't die. So ha!

LonelyWolf- that's not the only one, lets see… blondes are so stupid that they try to drown fish!

ShopTillUDrop- haha that ones funny!

TellMeI'mPretty!!- I've heard that one, keep trying!

LonelyWolf- ok, hmmmm, blondes are so dumb that they think Mew Mix is a CD for cats.

ShopTillUDrop- lol

TellMeI'mPretty!!- that's a stupid joke.

ShopTillUDrop- sure it is rose, sure it is. Got any more jake? There so funny!

LonelyWolf- sure! Ummm. She tripped over a cordless phone, she asked for a price check at the dollar store, she sent a fax with a stamp on it, ummm.. And she studied for a blood test.

ShopTillUDrop- lol! A hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Lmao! Hahaha! Those are soooooo funny.

TellMeI'mPretty!!- I'm leaving!

TellMeI'mPretty!! Has logged off.

LonelyWolf- darn it! i had 2 more!

ShopTillUDrop- what are they?

LonelyWolf- she calls people to get there phone numbers. And she thought a quarterback was a refund.

ShopTillUDrop- ha! I'm going to taunt her with those.

LonelyWolf- k c ya!

ShopTillUDrop- bye

ShopTillUDrop has logged off.

LonelyWolf- haha I'm so funny!

LonelyWolf has signed off.

**Can you people get me to at least 80 reviews plz?**


	12. Below The Belt

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

* * *

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

WhiteHulk has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop-hey Emmett! How is getting holy going for you?

WhiteHulk- hey! Your not aloud to tease me about that!

ShopTillUDrop- says who?

WhiteHulk- mommy!

ShopTillUDrop- *chuckle* fine I wount tease you anymore.

WhiteHulk- that's all I ask.

*silence*

WhiteHulk- when I grow up, I wanna famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have boobies!

ShopTillUDrop- uumm Emmett, there are 2 things wrong with what you just said. One, you can never grow up. and 2 you're a guy. You can never have "boobies".

WhiteHulk- gosh Alice! Why cant a man sing in peace anymore!?!

ShopTillUDrop- cuz no man would sing that song.

WhiteHulk- ouch Alice that was below the belt.

ShopTillUDrop- would that even hurt you?

WhiteHulk- ummmmmmm I don't know. I've never tried.

ShopTillUDrop- we should call Carlisle and see if he knows!

WhiteHulk- ok!

WhateverMakesUHappy has signed on.

WhateverMakesUHappy- you called Alice? What is it?

ShopTillUDrop- well we were wondering, if you hit a boy vampire 'below the belt' would it hurt?

WhateverMakesUHappy- I don't really know. We should test it. Any volunteers?

WhiteHulk- o o me me! Pick me! Me! I'm the only real man! Pick me!

WhateverMakesUHappy- excuse me? The only real man?

WhiteHulk- besides you Carlisle *nervous laugh*

WhateverMakesUHappy- that's better. Now Alice go kick him.

ShopTillUDrop-* evil grin* happily!

*kicks Emmett very hard in the nuts, Emmett screams like a little girl*

WhiteHulk- * moaning and panting* ya oww it hurts a lot!

WhateverMakesUHappy- well that answers that.

ShopTillUDrop- thanks Carlisle! that was probably the only time I would be aloud to kick Emmett there without getting in trouble.

WhateverMakesUHappy- you got that right. I have to go now. Bye.

ShopTillUDrop- bye

WhateverMakesUHappy has logged off.

WhiteHulk- I'm going to the emo corner to cry!!!

ShopTillUDrop- ok but before you go, I'm sorry Emmett.

WhiteHulk- I guess its kinnda okay. the pain is slowly going away.

ShopTillUDrop- that's good. Are you still going to the emo corer though??

WhiteHulk- yya!

ShopTillUDrop- y?

WhiteHulk- cuz I like the emo corner.

ShopTillUDrop- ok….. Then? Bye?

WhiteHulk- bye

WhiteHulk has signed off.

ShopTillUDrop- he's a weird one, that kid Emmett.

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

* * *

Authors note

Hey everyone! Thnx to all the people who reviewed my Cullen aim. A big thnx to 2 of my biggest fans, edwardcullenlove25 and bella503! thnx for all the ideas and comments, and your stories rock to! I also want to thank all my other reviewers. You people rock! Keep reading plz, and send me lots and lots of reviews. I want to get 80 reviews by the end of April. You can also send me any of your stories and I will be sure to check them out. I will also soon be a beta reviewer, so if you want me to be your beta all you gotta do is ask me. I will be one in about 2 weeks. I need to get at least 6000 words in this story to become one. So I'm just going to blab for a bit. If you have any ideas for my Cullen aim send it to me. Also, if you think I should change anything send that to me as well. There isn't anything else that is important that I gotta add sooooooooooooooooooooooo I guess this is it. Keep an eye out for me once I become a beta. I will put up an authors note when I do. U all rock! Bye!


	13. Arguing

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

* * *

WhiteHulk has signed on.

LonelyWolf has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey everyone!

WhiteHulk- hey!

LonelyWolf- hello bells! Wats up?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- nothing much, I'm just at Edwards house.

LonelyWolf- ewww what are you doing at the bloodsuckers house?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey! Don't call them that!

WhiteHulk- ya! Its hurtful!

LonelyWolf- well they call me mongrel, so why cant I call them bloodsuckers?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- well, I guess that's true ,but you should be the bigger person!

LonelyWolf- what if I don't want to be the bigger person?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- well you should want to be the bigger person.

LonelyWolf- whatever. Do you wanna come over?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- no, I'm waiting for Edward to come home.

LonelyWolf- Bella, your to attached.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I am not!

LonelyWolf- are to.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- am not!

LonelyWolf- are to.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- am not!

LonelyWolf- must I remind you what happened when he left?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- that was different.

LonelyWolf- was not.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore-was to!

LonelyWolf- was not.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- was to!

LonelyWolf- was not!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- was to!

LonelyWolf- was not!

WhiteHulk- are you guys having a fight?

LonelyWolf- no, were having a colorful conversation.

WhiteHulk- what does that mean?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- that were having a fight.

LonelyWolf- no it doesn't!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- ya it does.

LonelyWolf- no its doesn't!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- yes it does!

LonelyWolf- no it doesn't!!!!!

WhiteHulk- ya it does!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- ha!! He's on my side!

WhiteHulk- no, I'm not on anyone's side. I just got bored of watching.

LonelyWolf- that means he's on my side.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- SHUT UP JAKE!

WhiteHulk- I'm bored, so I'm leaving. Bye

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- bye

WhiteHulk has signed off.

LonelyWolf- soooooooooooooo Bella are you coming?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- no! I already said that!

LonelyWolf- yyyyyyy?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I already told you! I'm waiting for Edward to come back.

LonelyWolf- Bella, your to attached.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- no I'm not!

LonelyWolf- yes you are.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I'm not doing this again. Good-bye!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed off.

LonelyWolf- now my screen name really is true! :( I'm so lonely!

LonelyWolf has signed off.

* * *

**Hey people! Hope this chapter wasn't boring or anything, I was low on ideas. So plz send me your feed back on it. Thanks! **


	14. Jasper's Emo?

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight. I also don't own " how to be emo" on youtube. I also don't own youtube

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

* * *

2ManyEmotions! has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop- hey jazz! Wats up?

2ManyEmotions!- nothing much. I'm just watching "how to be emo".

ShopTillUDrop- WHAT!?! YOUR EMO? SINCE WHEN?!?

2ManyEmotions!- Alice! Calm down! Its just a video on .

ShopTillUDrop- ohhhhhhhh! You scared me there. I'm going shopping, c ya!

2ManyEmotions!- bye.

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed on.

MindIntruder has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey Eddie! Hi jasper!

MindIntruder- hi love.

2ManyEmotions!- hi Bella!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- soo wats up?

2ManyEmotions!- nothing much. I'm just watching " how to be emo"

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- what?!? Your emo! I have to spread this!

2ManyEmotions!- Bella no! its jus-

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed off.

2ManyEmotions!- Edward! You know its just a video right?!?

MindIntruder- ya I know.

2ManyEmotions!- then stop Bella please!!!

MindIntruder- ok I will.

MindIntruder has signed off.

WhiteHulk has signed on.

WhiteHulk- hey jasper! guess what I heard! Your emo! Hahahaha!

2ManyEmotions!- no! gawd! I'm not emo!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed on.

MindIntruder has signed on.

2ManyEmotions!- Edward! You were supposed to stop her!

MindIntruder- sorry jasper. I was to late.

2ManyEmotions!- you're a freaking vampire! How did a human beat you?!? Gawd! What's wrong with the world?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- did you just say gawd?

WhiteHulk- yya he did. that's the second time he said it too.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- wow jasper that is so gay.

WhiteHulk- what?!? Jasper is emo AND gay? I have to go tell EVERYONE!

WhiteHulk has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I'm going to go help him!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed off.

MindIntruder- *sigh* I'll go stop her.

MindIntruder has signed off.

2ManyEmotions!- I'm not emo or gay. Why don't people understand me? =(

2ManyEmotions! has signed off.


	15. Lets Have Some 'fun'

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

* * *

MindIntruder has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey Eddie! Ha-ha it was so fun last time on aim. But it would have been funner if you didn't stop me from telling everyone.

MindIntruder- sorry love, I kind of owed jasper that much. We really hurt his feelings.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- ya, I guess. It was fun any ways.

MindIntruder- ya it kind of was.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I'm really bored today.

MindIntruder- me to.

WhiteHulk has signed on.

WhiteHulk- heyy people!!!! Wats up?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey Emmett! nothing much, were just bored.

WhiteHulk- oh, me to.

*silence*

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey Edward! I have an idea. Lets go have some 'fun'. *wink wink*

MindIntruder- ok lets go!

WhiteHulk- what!? Your leaving me?!?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- ya but maybe you and Rose can have some 'fun'. * wink wink*

WhiteHulk- Bella? Is there something wrong with your right eye? It keeps twitching.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- *sigh* Edward help.

MindIntruder- ok. Emmett you and Rose should have some 'fun'. * nudge nudge*

WhiteHulk- I still don't get it. And why are you poking me?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- here let me try agian. Were going to have some 'fun' * wink wink nudge nudge*

WhiteHulk- your eye is twitching again. And could you PLZ stop poking me!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- *sigh* lets just go Edward.

MindIntruder- ok, be Emmett.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- bye Em.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed off.

MindIntruder has signed off.

WhiteHulk- :( I'm so confused! What 'fun' are they talking about?

WhiteHulk has signed off.

* * *

If you don't get what 'fun' their talking about, send me a review or privet message or something and I'll tell you. If you do get what 'fun' I'm talking about, hope you liked this chapter!

p.s

I'm a beta now! Yay! If you need one ill be it!


	16. I Married A Sissy?

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

* * *

WhateverMakesUHappy has signed on

BigHappyFamily has signed on.

WhateverMakesUHappy- hi Esme!

BigHappyFamily- hi Carl!

WhateverMakesUHappy- ?

BigHappyFamily- what?

WhateverMakesUHappy- since when was my nickname Carl?

BigHappyFamily- I don't know. But everyone else has nicknames for each other. Why cant we?

WhateverMakesUHappy- because were the adults.

BigHappyFamily- so?

WhateverMakesUHappy- so adults don't have nicknames for each other.

BigHappyFamily- yes they do. I see enough soap operas to know that!

WhateverMakesUHappy- you watch soap operas?

BigHappyFamily- umm ya… sometimes.

WhateverMakesUHappy- oh.

BigHappyFamily- is there a problem with that?

WhateverMakesUHappy- no. I'm just kinnda jealous now.

BigHappyFamily- why?

WhateverMakesUHappy- because guys get teased if they like soap operas, and I kninnda like them.

BigHappyFamily- OH MY GOD! IM MARRIED TO A SISSY!!!!

BigHappyFamily has signed off.

WhateverMakesUHappy- SEE WHAT I MEAN?!? :(

Boss has signed on.

Boss- Dr. Carlisle! What are you doing?

WhateverMakesUHappy- who are you?

Boss- did you not read my screen name?!? I'm your boss!

WhateverMakesUHappy- oh! Why are you on aim?

Boss- because the hospital has been looking for you! A patient came in and she is near death! We need you!!! Why are you on aim?

WhateverMakesUHappy- I was talking to my wife.

Boss- but your wife isn't on.

WhateverMakesUHappy- she was. Then I told her a secret, she called me a sissy then signed off.

Boss- why did she call you a sissy?

WhateverMakesUHappy- long story.

Boss- tell me I've got time.

WhateverMakesUHappy- what about the dieing patient?

Boss- oh ya her.

WhateverMakesUHappy- got to go bye!

WhateverMakesUHappy has signed off.

Boss- hmmm,this aim thing is kinnda cool. I should make a real one! I also got to find out why Carlisle is a sissy. Oh well, I'll find out later.

Boss has signed off.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed on.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- perfect! No ones on! My milkshakes bring all the guys to the yard and your danm right there better then yours! Haha this is fun. OH NO!! AN EVIL NINJA MUFFIN!!! RUNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed off.


	17. Chuck Norris Is My New BFF!

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Chuck Norris

* * *

WhiteHulk has signed on.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed on.

WhiteHulk- no way! Is that chuck Norris?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- ya it is.

WhiteHulk- OMG!! I LOVE CHUCK NORRIS!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I no! who doesn't love me? I'm so cool.

WhiteHulk- MY NAME IS EMMETT! IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN! WE SHOULD BE BFF!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- ok!!!! Yay I have a new bff!! This is going to be sooooo cool!!!!!!!

WhiteHulk- ya!!!!! My other best friend was a cat, but I kind of ate him like 20 years ago.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- you ate your cat?

WhiteHulk- ya, I was hungry. And the cat was so cute and yummy looking!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- was the cat good? I ate a Siamese cat once and it didn't tast good. I prefer long haired cats.

WhiteHulk- I like short haired cats better. Are you a vampire?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- nooooo… are you?

WhiteHulk- maybe…

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- omfg!! That is so cool!!!!

WhiteHulk- if your not a vamp, why did you eat a cat?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I dk. She looked yummy.

WhiteHulk- I feel your pain. Everyone was mad at me when I ate Fluffy.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I hate it when people don't understand you.

WhiteHulk- yaa.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- OMG!!! THE EVIL NINJA IS BACK FOR ROUND TOO!! AND HE BROUGHT HIS EVIL SIDE KICK THE EVIL MUFFIN!!! AHHHHHH!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed off.

WhiteHulk- OH NO!! CHUCK I'LL SAVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

WhiteHulk has signed off.


	18. Vampire Quetions

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Chuck Norris

* * *

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed on.

ShopTillUDrop has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey Alice!! Wats up?

ShopTillUDrop- nm. U?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- nothing much. I have a question. When you see my future do u see me as a vamp?

ShopTillUDrop- yes I do and I cant wait!!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- YES!! I GET TO BE A VAMP!!! WOO HOO!! Can I ask you questions so I become a vamp prepared?

ShopTillUDrop-sure.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- ok… do you have to shower?

ShopTillUDrop- ? that's a weird question. I guess we could if we really wanted to.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- ok. Can you be allergic to anything?

ShopTillUDrop- um well we don't eat. And if we were allergic to blood we would become really weak. So I guess no.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- oh. Can you throw up?

ShopTillUDrop- I don't know. Really Bella! What kind of questions are these? Will any of the answers really help you when u become a vamp?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I don't know. Will they?

ShopTillUDrop- *sigh* I'm going shopping. Do u wanna come?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- NO!

ShopTillUDrop- no need to be harsh.

ShopTillUDrop has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- well…

TellMeI'mPretty!! Has signed on.

TellMeI'mPretty!!- ugh its Bella.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I'm right here you no.

TellMeI'mPretty!!- ya I no.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- come on Rose! Why do you hate me?

LonelyWolf has signed on.

LonelyWolf- sweet! Blondie is on!!! I have a new joke.

TellMeI'mPretty!!- its probably going to be stupid, like all the rest.

LonelyWolf- we'll see. Ok why did the blonde have square boobs?

Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box when she stuffed her bra! Hahaha

TellMeI'mPretty!! has signed off.

LonelyWolf- hahaha

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- Hahanaha!!!!!!! OH EDIE'S HOME! GOTTA GO BYE!!!

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed off.

LonelyWolf- now I'm alone. :( well I'll just go piss off Leah!

LonelyWolf has signed off.

* * *

message from me :)

**Do you think I should change any of the screen names in my Cullen Aim? If you do, send me a message or leave a review with who's screen name should change, and what it should be. THNX!!**

**P.S**

**Hope you like the Aim so far! Review plzzz!!! THNX!!!!**


	19. Evil Plan!

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Cullen Aim!

Screen Names

Bella- BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore

Edward- MindIntruder

Alice- ShopTillUDrop

Jasper- 2ManyEmotions!

Emmett- WhiteHulk

Rosalie- TellMeI'mPretty!!

Carlisle- WhateverMakesUHappy

Esme- BigHappyFamily

Jacob- LonelyWolf

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Chuck Norris

* * *

WhiteHulk has signed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has singed on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- hey Emmett! What's up?

WhiteHulk- well I just saved my BFF from a ninja and an evil muffin. I also thought of the greatest prank EVER! Which do you wanna hear about?

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- um the prank.

WhiteHulk- ok. So I got a list of all the Cullen passwords. So what were going to do is go on all there aims, switch there user names, put a block so that only we can change them back, then see there expression when they sign on.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- I love that plan!!!!!!!!!!! Can I help?

WhiteHulk- sure. You can do Eddie, Alice, Jazz, and Carlizle. I'll do all the rest of them. All there passwords are **imsexy!!!**

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- that's….a weird password…

WhiteHulk- ya I guess… anways lets get started. Oh ya! don't forget to do you own name. that way were less of a suspect.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore- gotcha!

WhiteHulk has signed off.

BellaSmellaSharpieNoMore has signed off.

**30 minutes later.**

MyTeddy!! has signed on.

BiteMeNOW! has signed on.

BiteMeNOW!- lol love the screen name.

MyTeddy!! - ya you to.

BiteMeNOW!-thnx. Ok Eddie's is LikeAVirgin.

MyTeddy!!- hahahaha

BiteMeNOW!- I know! Alice is SmallPersonBigCloset. Jazz is EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth.

MyTeddy!!- HAHAHA THAT ONES GREAT!!!

BiteMeNOW!- I know!!!! You gave me an idea for Carlisle. His is CarlizleFromTheHizzle.

MyTeddy!!- HAHAHA THOOSE ARE GREAT THERE GONNA FLIP WHEN THEY READ THEM!!!!

BiteMeNOW!- haha I know. Ok what are the ones you made up?

MyTeddy!! - ok. Rosalie is DoesMyButtLookBig? don't tell her I made that one ok?

BiteMeNOW!- lol ok. What are the rest?

MyTeddy!!- Esme is CarlizleIsInMYHizzle. You helped me make that one up.

BiteMeNOW!- LOL!!! I LOVE THEM!!! I CANT WAIT TILL THEY COME ON!!!!!!

MyTeddy!!- ya I know. Lets tell them all to come n in 1 hour.

BiteMeNOW! - okay. On it. Talk to a in an hour. Byebye!

MyTeddy!!- bye

BiteMeNOW! Has signed off.

MyTeddy!! Hs signed off.

* * *

Another Note From Me!!!

Haha this was one of my favorite chapters to make. Hope you liked it! Thnx for all the reviews!!!!! In the next chapter you will find out how mad all the Cullen's will be with the new names!!!

* * *

And if your confused about the screen names here is the list:

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Chuck Norris


	20. What Have You Done?

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Chuck Norris

* * *

**1 hour after the switch of usernames…**

BiteMeNOW! Has signed on.

LikeAVirgin has signed on.

SmallPersonBigCloset has signed on.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed on.

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

DoesMyButtLookBig? Has signed on.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle has signed on.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle has signed on.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- so Emmett and Bella, why'd we all have to come on AIM right now?

DoesMyButtLookBig?- OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SCREEN NAME?!?

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- what the hell!!! I'm not emo!!!!!!!!!

SmallPersonBigCloset- mines true enough….

LikeAVirgin- THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A VIRGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- Emmett! Bella! What have you done?!? And what the heck is a hizzle?!?

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle- I was just about to ask the same thing.

MyTeddy!!- AHAHAHAHA YOUR REACTIONS ARE BETTER THAN I THOUGHT!!!

BiteMeNOW!- I no right?!? Lol!!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- * sniffle sniffle* Em? Are you saying my butt is big?

MyTeddy!!- no Rose I'm just fooling with ya.

DoesMyButtLookBig?- oh in that case… HOW DARE YOU?!?

MyTeddy!!- oh crap.

MyTeddy!! Has signed off.

DoesMyButtLookBig?- oh he's not getting away that easily!!!!

DoesMyButtLookBig? Has signed off.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- anyways… Bella how could you?

LikeAVirgin- ya! And to your own husband!

BiteMeNOW!- I didn't agree to marry you yet!!!

SmallPersonBigCloset- you will…

BiteMeNOW!- shut up Alice.

SmallPersonBigCloset- no need to be mean. jasper lets go.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- ok. And I'm NOT emo!!!

SmallPersonBigCloset has signed off.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed off.

LikeAVirgin- will you change our names back?

BiteMeNOW!- no there funny.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle - please? I don't even know what a hizzle is.

BiteMeNOW!- no there more original than the other names.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- *sigh* I don't think she will change her mind. I have to get back to the hospital. Bye

CarlizleFromTheHizzle has signed off.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle- ya I give up to. Bye.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle ha signed off.

BiteMeNOW!- well its just me and you Eddie. Do you wanna come over??

LikeAVirgin- will you change my name back?

BiteMeNOW!- no. but you'll still come right??

LikeAVirgin- * sigh* yes. On my way.

BiteMeNOW! Has signed off.

LikeAVirgin has signed off.

* * *

Sorry for the long wait between the chapters. I had a lot of end of the year tests I had to study for and projects I had to do but on the bright side, I got some pretty good grades! Yay!! hope you liked this chapter, plz review. Thnx!!


	21. Why Were You Late?

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight. or Whip Cream ( you'll find out why i put that l8er :) )

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Chuck Norris

* * *

CarlizleFromTheHizzle has signed on.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle has signed on.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- hello Esme! Did you get the kids to switch the screen names back?

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle- umm no, did you look at your name? it's the same.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- true… anyways, are you still mad about the whole soap opera thing? I haven't gotten a chance to ask you.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle- I never was mad. I was just taken by surprise.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- oh. that's a relief. I swear I will never keep a secret from you as long as I live or whatever it is I'm doing right now.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle- sounds good to me.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- to make it up to you I'm going to take you hunting. Then we we'll have ' fun' tonight. *wink wink*

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle- yay!!! Ill meet you in the hospital!

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- ok see you soon :)

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle has signed off.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle has signed off.

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- were the heck is Chuck?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- OH GOOD CHUCK IS ON!!! What took you so long?!?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- wellllllll………… I saw this really yummy looking cat that had this white stuff foaming out of its mouth. I thought it was Whip Cream which made the cat look even more yummy. So I went and caught the cat and bite it. For some reason that annoyed the cat and it bite me back. Then about 30 minutes later I started to foam from the mouth and some strange guy called 4-1-1 because he thought I was having a seizer. Then I was dragged to the hospital by these weird guys who strapped me into a weird thingy with wheels. Then they put the weird thingy with wheels into a car that went " wee woo wee woo wee woo". Then there were these mean people who took giant pointy things and started to stab me with them. Then they finally let me out but I was a little loopy because of the med they gave me. I was driving home and a cop stopped me and gave me a ticket for driving while on med. And that, Emmett, is why I was late.

*Silence*

MyTeddy!!- ….COOL!!!!!!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- YA IT WAS!!!!!!! AND GUESS WHAT?!?

MyTeddy!! - WHAT?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I DANCED WITH A NOODLE BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL!!!!!!!!!!

MyTeddy!!- COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN I COME AND WATCH?!?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- OK SURE!

MyTeddy!!- SWEET!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed off.

MyTeddy!! Has signed off.

* * *

if you wondering....

Rose forgave Emmett for changing her screen name AFTER she kicked his ass. she kicked his ass agian for not changing it back, but other than that there not mad at each other ( for now *evil smile*)

* * *

BREAKING NEW!!!!!

leah and charlie will soon have screen names too!!!!!!!!! any ideas for there screen names? well then SEND THEM TO ME PLZZZZZZ AND I MIGHT USE THEM!!!!!

p.s,

DONT FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!


	22. Author's Note

Hey everyone! I hope you like the names to my chapters!!! If you think I should change one send a review to me. Hope you like the story so far. Thnx soooooo much for all the great reviews!!!! I love all my fans! You peeps rock!!!! And don't forget… review review review review review and REVIEW! :)

P.S

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, COMMENTS OR SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE SEND ME A REVIEW OR A PRIVET MESSAGE. I'LL RESPOND AS SOON AS I CAN! THNX!!!!!!!!!!


	23. America's Individual Men

Disclaimer- I do **not** own Twilight.

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Chuck Norris

* * *

BiteMeNOW! has signed on.

BiteMeNOW!- ugh Edward isn't on yet!!!

Tranny'sTurnMeOn has signed on.

BiteMeNOW!- ummmm who are you?

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- um I'm Charlie. Is this Aim?

BiteMeNOW!- yes, what's your last name?

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- its Swan. Why?

BiteMeNOW!- OME!!!! YOUR CHARLIE SWAN?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON AIM!?!!!! AND WHATS UP WITH YOR NAME?!?

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- geeze calm down. Yes I'm Charlie swan. And what's wrong with my name? I want girls to know what I like.

BiteMeNOW!- WHY WOULD YOU BE LOOKING FOR A GIRL ON AIM?!?

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- doesn't aim stand for America's Individual Men?

BiteMeNOW!- NOO!!!! It stands for AOL Instant Messaging!!!

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- oh, so this isn't a dating site?

BiteMeNOW!- AS HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- ok ok!!! Sorry! It was a mistake!!! Why are you freaking out?

BiteMeNOW!- BECAUSE IM BELLA! YOUR DAUGHTER!!! YOU WOULD BE FREAKING OUT TO IF YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOUR DAD IS A TRANNY LOVER!

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- your Bella? My daughter?

BiteMeNOW!- YES!

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- oh er um bye!

Tranny'sTurnMeOn has signed off.

BiteMeNOW!- ewwwwwwww! Ew!!!

LikeAVirgin has signed on.

LikeAVirgin- hey love!

BiteMeNOW!- hey, ewwwww

LikeAVirgin- what?

BiteMeNOW!- I just found out Charlie loves trannys!!!!

LikeAVirgin- omb!! Really?

BiteMeNOW!-yes ewwwwww!!! Can you come comfort me?

LikeAVirgin- on my way.

LikeAVirgin has signed off.

BiteMeNOW!- ewwwwwwwww

BiteMeNOW! Has signed off.

* * *

Hey everyone! Hope you liked this chapter! I got the idea of a perverted screen name for Charlie from You-Woun't-See-An-Iguana- Here. I made the name up though. Anyway, thanks so much for the idea!!! Plzzzzzzzzzz review!!! Review! Review! Review! Review!


	24. Playa Hata

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Chuck Norris

* * *

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed on.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- *evil grin* I will make the next person who comes on act all gangster like!! Mwahahahaha! Crap, I'm talking to my self. Never a good sign.

LonelyWolf has signed on.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth is invisible.

BrokenBeyondRepair has signed on.

BrokenBeyondRepair-hey!

LonelyWolf- ummm who are you?

BrokenBeyondRepair- really Jacob, how many people do you know that are broken beyond repair?

LonelyWolf- well Bella _was_, but she is better now. The only other person is… is…is… LEAH!

BrokenBeyondRepair- yup! You guessed it.

LonelyWolf- NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY LAST SAFE PLACE!! WHY?!?

BrokenBeyondRepair-oh come on Jake. I'm not that bad, am I?

LonelyWolf- well when your in one of your _moods_ you are.

BrokenBeyondRepair- its not my fault! When you get your love taken away, you turn bitter.

LonelyWolf- I didn't.

BrokenBeyondRepair- you never had your love taken.

LonelyWolf- ahem, Bella!

BrokenBeyondRepair- oh ya her… but you were never together.

LonelyWolf- true dat, true dat!

BrokenBeyondRepair- ?

LonelyWolf- what? Cant I talk like a playa?

BrokenBeyondRepair- umm no

LonelyWolf- are you being a playa hata?

BrokenBeyondRepair- only to you.

LonelyWolf- yo yo yo! That aint cool dawg!

BrokenBeyondRepair- WHAT?!? DID YOU JUST CALL ME A DOG? OH YOUR SO DEAD!

LonelyWolf- what? No!! I didn't!

BrokenBeyondRepair has signed off.

LonelyWolf- OH CRAP! OWW! STOP! I DIDN'T- OWW! THAT WAS MY KIDNEY! STOP, I DIDN'T MEAN-

LonelyWolf has been disconnected.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Hahahaha!!! Its soooooooo fun to make people all gangster like! Ahaha!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed off.

* * *

Hey everyone! Sorry for taking forever to update, but I've had a lot going on. Hope you liked it!

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

THANK YOU!!!!!!


	25. Sterilize The Needle!

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

* * *

DoesMyButtLookBig? Has signed on.

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- hey babe!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- hey Em. Did you hear?

MyTeddy!!- no what happened?

DoesMyButtLookBig?- Jacob got beat up!

MyTeddy!!- ahahahaha, he got beat up?!? By who?

DoesMyButtLookBig?- Leah.

MyTeddy!!- he got beat up by a girl?!?

DoesMyButtLookBig?- yes, why are you so surprised? He had it coming ever since he started to mess with me. Ohh revenge is sweet!

MyTeddy!!- but you didn't beat him up Rose, so how is it revenge?

DoesMyButtLookBig?- oh easy. In my mind, I beat him up.

MyTeddy!!- ok….. That isn't weird at all……….. *sarcastic*

DoesMyButtLookBig?- at least I don't imagine beating up Michael Jackson.

MyTeddy!!- what's wrong with that? I'm sure every kid imagines that! I mean think about it, he'd probably say OW in that weird high pitched voice thing he does. It would be sooo funny!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- I just have one thing to say to that. All boys are idiots, and I married there king.

DoesMyButtLookBig? Has signed off.

MyTeddy!! - hello! I'm a man!!!

MyTeddy!! Has signed off.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed on.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I JUMPED ON A GANGSTER BECAUSE IM SEXY AND DO WHAT I WANT!!!!

Fred has signed on.

Bob has signed on.

Fred- oh crap! Bob, sterilize the needle, Chuck didn't take his meds again.

Bob- oh not again! that's the 5th time this week!

Fred has signed off.

Bob has signed off.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE SUCKERS!…………OH CRAP! THEY FOUND ME! HELP ME NINJA CAT! AND BRING THE EVIL MUFFIN!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has been sterilized.

* * *

:P Heyy, hope you liked this chapter! Sorry it took me forever to update, but since its summer I'll update a lot more. thnx for all the amazing reviews! Your all awesome!!! :)

p.s

don't forget to review!!!!!!!!!!!!! The more reviews, the faster I update!


	26. Purrrrrrrrrrrr

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

* * *

LonelyWolf has signed on.

LikeAVirgin has signed on.

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

LikeAVirgin- I CANT BELIEVE YOU!

LonelyWolf- what did I do?

LikeAVirgin- YOU KISSED BELLA!

LonelyWolf- she wanted me to.

LikeAVirgin- NO SHE DIDN'T!

LonelyWolf- how do you know?

LikeAVirgin- because I asked her and I believe her!

LonelyWolf- I knew in my heart that she wanted me to kiss her.

LikeAVirgin- your heart is a black hole, how can it know anything?!?

LonelyWolf- ouch, that was cold.

LikeAVirgin- I'm a vampire, what do you expect?

LonelyWolf- that's not what I meant, but whatever then.

MyTeddy!!- MOMMY SAYS IM SPECIAL!

LikeAVirgin- what?

MyTeddy!!- mommy, as in Esme, thinks I'm special.

LonelyWolf has signed off.

LikeAVirgin- oh crap! The wolf got away! Emmett you could have waited to tell me, you know.

MyTeddy!!- tell you what?

LikeAVirgin- that your special.

Tranny'sTurnMeOn has signed on.

MyTeddy!! - awww, Eddiekins, you really think I'm special?

LikeAVirgin- grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- did you just growl?

MyTeddy!!- yes he did, and on rare occasions, he purrs.

LikeAVirgin- no I don't!!!

MyTeddy!!- Eddie its okay. I purr to.

LikeAVirgin- wow Emmett, just wow.

LikeAVirgin has signed off.

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- sooo…. I like romantic dinners and candles.

MyTeddy!!- so does my B.F.F Chuck!!!!!!!

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- is he a tranny?

MyTeddy!!- no, but he's sexy and does what he wants.

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- close enough, when can I meet him?

MyTeddy!!- today! My house, 7:00.

MyTeddy!! Has signed off.

Tranny'sTurnMeOn- WAIT! I don't know where you live :'( well I guess its back to the emo corner for me.

* * *

hope you liked it!! review plzzzzz :)


	27. Do You Have Turrets?

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

* * *

LonelyWolf has signed on.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou ha signed on.

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

MyTeddy!! Hey!!!!

LonelyWolf- hi

MyTeddy!!- what's up??

LonelyWolf- nothing much. Just bored.

MyTeddy!!- o I'm not bored. I'm talking to my bff Chuck!

LonelyWolf- cool, what's his screen name, I wanna talk to him too

MyTeddy!! - ok! But before I give it to you, I'm going to warn you: I get jealous easily and even though I'm damn beautiful when I'm jealous, it doesn't usually end well. Consider yourself warned.

LonelyWolf- ok…

MyTeddy!!- ok, its ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

LonelyWolf- wait, your bff is chuck Norris?

MyTeddy!!- yup!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- HI!

LonelyWolf- hi, so your Emmett's bff?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- ya is there a problem?

MyTeddy!!- no just making sure. And your Chuck Norris right?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou - yup!

LonelyWolf- ok. So what's up?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou - my date stood me up last night.

LonelyWolf- you had a date?

MyTeddy!!- MOMMY SAYS IM FRICKEN SPECIAL!

LonelyWolf- you said that yesterday to Edward.

MyTeddy!!- nooooo I told Edward " mommy thinks I'm special." I told you "Mommy says I'm _fricken_ special. There's a difference.

LonelyWolf- do you have turrets or something?

MyTeddy!!-ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Chuck what's turrets?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- it is a dieses of the brain that is accompanied by facial twitches and random out bursts of random, and some times inappropriate language, which cannot be controlled.

*Jacob is in a stunned silence because Chuck Norris actually knows what turrets is*

MyTeddy!!- ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. In that case yes, I have turrets.

*Jacob is still in stunned silence*

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I SLEPT WITH A BELUGA WHALE BECAUSE I DO WHAT I WANT AND YOU CANT STOP ME!!!

MyTeddy!!- that was deep Chuck, really deep.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I know. Lets go share my wisdom with little kids!

MyTeddy!!- OK!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed off.

MyTeddy!! Has signed off.

*Jacob is still in stunned silence*

*2 hours later*

LonelyWolf- wow. Hey! Were did everybody go? They didn't even say bye!!! I feel so unloved :(

LonelyWolf has signed off.

* * *

:D Hope you liked this chap!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thnx!!!!!!! :P


	28. Im Super Cute, Super Hot!

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!!!!!!

* * *

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle has signed on.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle has signed on.

HornyPony!!!!!! Has singed on.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle -Hey Carlisle, how are you?

CarlizleFromTheHizzle -Not so good.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle -Why??

CarlizleFromTheHizzle - Well because Emmett is starting to get turrets, which is really bad because according to Edward he has a _very_ perverted mind. Also Bill Gates is sueing us because Emmett and Chuck wanted to 'spread their wisdom' and told his son it was okay to sleep with animals. They also explained what they meant by sleep. About an hour after that Bill Gates found his son on top of their poodle with his hand up its-- never mind. Long story short, Emmett is getting turrets and were being sued.

HornyPony!!!!!! - WOW! You guys are even more messed up than me!

CarlizleFromTheHizzle -who are you??

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle - ya and how did you get into a privet chat room?

HornyPony!!!!!! - oh, I did a horny nerd a little favor…. As to who I am- I am the greatest singer alive!!!!!!!!!!!

CarlizleFromTheHizzle - NO FRICKEN WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR HANNAH MONANA!?!

HornyPony!!!!!! - NO! but I can see how the screen name fits her…

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- oh psh I was just kidding about the Hannah thing

HornyPony!!!!!! - sure

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle - well if your done taunting my husband, who are you?

HornyPony!!!!!! - I am Michael Jackson!!!!!!

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle - well the name fits….. Now if you'll excuses us, me and Carlisle were talking. So leave!

HornyPony!!!!!! - I don't want to leave!!! But I will shut up.

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle - fine! Anyway Carlisle, we can survive the whole sueing thing, but Emmett having turrets is a problem.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle - I know!

HornyPony!!!!!! - I'm super cute, super hot, I'm the girl everyone likes a lot! I'm super super girl!!!!!! I'm super super girl!!!!!!!!

CarlizleFromTheHizzle - I KNEW YOU WERE HANNAH MONTANA!!!! YOUR SINGING SUPER GIRL!!!!!!!

HornyPony!!!!!! - IM NOT HANNAH MONTANA!!!

CarlizleFromTheHizzle- than why are you singing her song?

HornyPony!!!!!! - cuz its true!!!!

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle - but your not even a girl!!!

HornyPony!!!!!! - where's your proof of that?

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle - OH. MY. GOD!

CarlizleIsInMYHizzle has signed off.

CarlizleFromTheHizzle - THE WORLD ISNT RIGHT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!

CarlizleFromTheHizzle has signed off.

HornyPony!!!!!! - well I'm gonna go find that horny kid. Jackson signing out. OW!

HornyPony!!!!!! has signed off.

* * *

Heyyyyyyyy! Hope you liked the chapter!!!!! I no those arn't the real words to the song, but the ones i have are funniers so oh well :) :P Dont forget to REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just in case you forgot REVIEW!!!!!!

One more time REVIEW!!!!!!!! ok I'm done :)


	29. Breaking News!

BREAKING NEWS!

MICHEAL JACKSON DIED TODAY (JUNE 25, 2009)!!!!!!!!!!!

He died of a heart attack! He probably looked in the mirror, lol!

Just wanted to say R.I.P HornyPony. We will miss you and your freaky ways.


	30. HOW DARE YOU!

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!!!!!!

* * *

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

BiteMeNOW! Has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- hey Bella!

BiteMeNOW!- heyy

MyTeddy!!- ummm do you know why Edward is doing a happy dance in his room and grinning like a retard?

BiteMeNOW!- SHIT! i told him to keep it a secret for now!!!!!!!!

MyTeddy!!- BELLA! watch your language!!! the proper term is "number two"

BiteMeNOW!- so you want me to say " number two! i told him to keep it a secret for now!!!!!!"

MyTeddy!!- yes.

BiteMeNOW!- ...

MyTeddy!!- anyways, why is he doing it?

BiteMeNOW!- cuz I agreed to marry him. Ew never make me say that again!

MyTeddy!!- YOU WHAT?!? Bella, dont you know young marriage is the number 1 leading cause of divorce?!?

BiteMeNOW!- what are you my mother??

MyTeddy!!- yes, yes I am.

BiteMeNOW!- o…k… then……. I'm going to go play with Eddie. Bye!

MyTeddy!! - WHAT?!? Did you just tell your mother your going to have sex?!? Are you having safe sex? Grey sex? Are you wearing a latex?

BiteMeNOW!- NO, I an NOT going to have sex!!! Even if I was its not your business because your NOT my mother. And what the hell is grey sex? And why should I wear a latex?

MyTeddy!!- I don't know. that's what Lil Wayne says to do. You cant doubt Lil Wayne, he's an expert. And YES I am your mother.

BiteMeNOW!- wow Emmett your weird.

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU CALL ME WEIRD!

BiteMeNOW!- and you just got weirder.

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU TELL ME I GOT WEIRDER!

BiteMeNOW!- ok then, I'm going to go, bye-bye

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU TELL ME YOUR GOING TO GO!

BiteMeNOW! Has signed off.

MyTeddy!! - HOW DARE YOU SIGN OFF!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU SIGN ON!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- HOW DARE YOU TELL ME 'HOW DARE YOU SIGN ON'!

MyTeddy!!- wow chuck... im s-sorry!!!! i just lost my cool. im so sorry!!! dont get mad at me!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- its ok emmett, it ok. i lost my cool to. im sorry.

MyTeddy!!- its ok.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- SHIT!

MyTeddy!!- Chuck!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- i mean NUMBER TWO!

MyTeddy!!- much better. now tell me, whats wrong.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- THE EVIL MUFFIN IS BACK!!!

MyTeddy!! CRAP!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Emmett!

MyTeddy!!- srry, NUMBER TWO!!! RUN CHUCK!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed off.

DoesMyButtLookBig? Has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU SIGN ON!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- heyy!

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HEYY!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- umm hello??

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HELLO!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- hi?

MyTeddy!! - HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HI!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- sup?

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU TELL ME SUP!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- aloha?

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU TELL ME ALOHA!

DoesMyButtLookBig?- good bye

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU TELL ME GOODBYE!

DoesMyButtLookBig? Has signed off.

MyTeddy!!- HOW DARE YOU SIGN OFF!

MyTeddy!! Has been dragged away from the computer by a very annoyed and angry looking Rosalie.

" that's enough computer" she tells him

" what are you my mother?" he mumbles.

* * *

:P hope you liked that chapter. Sorry I've been taking forever to update its just I've had a LOT going on. If you want me to update sooner than you better REVIEW!!!!!!! The more reviews I get the faster and more often I will update, I promise. Soooo REVIEW A TON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s

as you know Micheal Jackson A.K.A hornypony has passed away. i just put him in my story and now that he died im not sure what to do. theres a poll on my profile to help me decide, so plz go and vote!

p.s.s

i put up a new story (Belong) and i have 1 review on it so it must suck. if you get the chance plz read it and tell me if its any good, cuz i think im gonna delete it soon.


	31. They Were Right

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!!!!!!

* * *

LikeAVirgin has signed on.

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- Heyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LikeAVirgin- hello

MyTeddy!!- is it true that your getting married?

LikeAVirgin- yup

MyTeddy!!- OMCN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then shouldn't you change your screen name?

LikeAVirgin- why?

MyTeddy!!- cuz it aint true

LikeAVirgin- yes it is

MyTeddy!!- *starts laughing hysterically* HAHAHAHAHA YOUR GETTING MARRIED AND YOU HAVNT DONE IT YET? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LikeAVirgin- oh shut up! Its not funny! She's still human!

MyTeddy!!- who cares? And yes it is very funny haha! Ha I guess they were right!

LikeAVirgin- about what?

MyTeddy!!- the fact that you and a Christmas tree have something in common.

LikeAVirgin- no we don't.

MyTeddy!!- yes, your balls are just for decoration.

LikeAVirgin- THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!

MyTeddy!!- haha yes it is!!! And guess what the snack that smiles back is?

LikeAVirgin- that's easy, goldfish

MyTeddy!!- nooooooooooooo its Bella.

LikeAVirgin- *growls*

MyTeddy!!- * sprays Edward with water*

LikeAVirgin- what the hell was that for?

MyTeddy!!- when training cats you spray them with water when they misbehave. I told you to purr and you refused to, so now I have to train you the hard way.

LikeAVirgin- brilliant plan except for the fact that IM NOT A CAT!

MyTeddy!!- so your not a masochistic lion?

LikeAVirgin has signed off.

MyTeddy!!- somebody's grumpy…

MyTeddy!! Has signed off.

* * *

**Heyyyyyyyyyy everyone how are you? Sorry I haven't updated in a while. DON'T HURT ME! I've just been really busy. I mean its summer and I'm trying to enjoy it before its gone. Anyway hope you like this chapter! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I have the next chapter typed up already so if you review enough you'll get the next chapter AND an Emmett hug AND advice from Chuck Norris !! So review now! This deal is not in stores so hurry before it gone! (cant sue me if Chuck gives you advice that gets you arrested, sued, killed, diseased, or harms you in an way.) :P**


	32. Comeback War!

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!!!!!!

* * *

LikeAVirgin has signed on.

LonelyWolf has signed.

LikeAVirgin- HAHAHA I WON BELLA! HAHA!

LonelyWolf- shutup bloodsucker!

LikeAVirgin- why don't you mongrel

LonelyWolf- leech!

LikeAVirgin- pup!

LonelyWolf- parasite!

LikeAVirgin- dog!

LonelyWolf- I may be a dog, but at least I don't smell like crap!

LikeAVirgin- my fiancée think I smell great! Does your fiancée think you smell good? Oh ya! You don't have one!

LonelyWolf- at least I have a life that doesn't revolve around a girl!

LikeAVirgin- at least I have a girl!

LonelyWolf- I could have a girl if I wanted to! Because I, unlike you, was born with great looks!

LikeAVirgin- I might not have been born hot, but all that really matters is that I'm a sexy beast now!!! Meanwhile, you're a hairy beast!

LonelyWolf- on no! you did NOT just go there!

LikeAVirgin- I didn't just go there, I went there and back!!!!

LonelyWolf- at least I'm not a hunk of ice!

LikeAVirgin- your right, I am hunky!

LonelyWolf- UGH!

LonelyWolf has signed off.

SmallPersonBigCloset has signed on.

SmallPersonBigCloset- ALICE! Get off my aim, NOW!

LikeAVirgin- yes sir

LikeAVirgin has signed off.

SmallPersonBigCloset has signed off.

* * *

Lol I loved making this chapter!!!! If your confused, Alice was on Edwards aim pretending to be him! Hahaha!!! Hope u liked it!!!!

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! **


	33. Super Important Author's Note

**OK PEOPLE! I HAVE THE NEXT CHAPTER OF MY CULLEN AIM MADE! BUT IT HAS MICHEAL JACKSON IN IT. I HAVE A POLL ON MY PROFILE ASKING IF I SHOULD CONTINUE TO USE MICHEAL BUT THE VOTES ARE 50/50! SO GO TO MY PROFILE AND VOTE OTHER WISE I WOUNT BE ABLE TO UPDATE! THANK YOU!**


	34. Obsessed

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!!!!!!

BiteMeNOW! Has signed on.

* * *

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

BiteMeNOW!- hey Em.

MyTeddy!!- hey belly!

BiteMeNOW!- don't call me that!!!

MyTeddy!!- gosh your just like Eddie! Speaking of Eddie, guess what?!?

BiteMeNOW!- what?

MyTeddy!!- Edward is havin is wedding on the same day as yours at the same time!!! Can believe him?

BiteMeNOW!- wow Emmet, just wow.

MyTeddy!!- I know!!! Eddie is such a jerk!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- CHUCK GUESS WHAT?!??

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- WHAT?

MyTeddy!!- Eddie is having his wedding on the same day at the same time as Bella!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- OMG!!!! THAT IS LIKE SO BITCHY!!! Bella you should like break up with him!!!!

BiteMeNOW!- I remain amazed that you guys passed high school!! Especially the fact that Emmett passed it more than once!!! Just amazing!!! I'm going to leave you to idiots to talk to each other. Bye

BiteMeNOW! Has signed off.

MyTeddy!!- did she just insult us?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I don't know.

MyTeddy!!- oh well.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- hey Emmett, I have a question for you.

MyTeddy!!- ok.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- well I was just wondering, why are you so obsessed with me? Ooh boy why you so obsessed with me? Boy I want to know- lyin' that you're sexin me when everybody knows it's clear that you're upset with me. Ohh finally found a guy that you couldn't impress. Last man on the earth- still couldn't get this. You're delusional, you're delusional. Boy you're losing your mind. It's confusin yo, you're confused you know. Why you wasting your time?

MyTeddy!!- I don't know!!!! And your right, I am wasting my time!!!! I cant get _that_!!! Plz forgive me!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- no, cuz its to late apologize, its to late!!!!

MyTeddy!!- plz!!! One more chance!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou - hmmmmmmm, fine! But only because you move your body like a cyclone!

MyTeddy!!- thank you chuck!!! I will work on my obsession!! I promise!!! Maybe I'll start stalking Rose…

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou!!!- that's a great idea!!! Maybe I'll even help you!!!! We'll talk about it later, right now I gotta go now, my mommy made chicken fingers!!!!!!

MyTeddy!!- k by!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- bye!

MyTeddy!! Has signed off.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed off.

* * *

Haha I know! This chapter is totally random!!!!! Lol, I was listening to my ipod while writing it so ya! Lol the first song is Obsessed by Mariah Carey ( LOVE THAT SONG!!). Then I used one line from Apologize by One Republic. Then there was that thing bout the cyclone from the song Cyclone by Baby Bash. Anyways, plz review!!!!! Hope you liked it! Love u all!!!!! Peace out!


	35. The HornyCyberCupcake AHH!

* * *

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!!!!!!

* * *

MyTeddy!! Has signed on.

SmallPersonBigCloset has signed on.

SmallPersonBigCloset- hey

MyTeddy!!- WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!

SmallPersonBigCloset- I mean hey…

MyTeddy!!- oh ok, you scared me.

SmallPersonBigCloset- why?

MyTeddy!!- WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!

SmallPersonBigCloset- I mean why. Yesh! Why are you so paranoid?

MyTeddy!!- well because Chuck got kidnapped by the evil muffin and his sidekick the cyber cupcake. And when I went to his house I found a note saying in frosting that I was next!!!! I'm doomed Alice, DOOMED!!!

SmallPersonBigCloset- **…**

SmallPersonBigCloset- has signed off.

MyTeddy!!- OH NOZ! THE CUPCAKE GOT HER!!!!!

HornyPony!!!!!! Has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- OMG! MICHEAL YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!!!!!!

HornyPony!!!!!!- im sorry, I cant help you.

MyTeddy!!- WHY NOT?!?

HornyPony!!!!!!- because im Hannah Montana!

MyTeddy!!- WHAT?

HornyPony!!!!!!- im Hannah Montana.

MyTeddy!!- but- you- Michael- Hannah- what?- why??

HornyPony!!!!!!- well because I wanted a third identity and come on, who doesn't want to be Michael Jackson?

MyTeddy!!- well that is true… well then why did you lie to Carlisle when he asked if you were Hannah Montana?

HornyPony!!!!!!- because im just kidding. Im not Hannah Montana.

MyTeddy!!- then who are you?

HornyPony!!!!!!- IM THE CYBER CUPCAKE! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

MyTeddy!! *screams like a little girl*

HornyPony!!!!!!- I will get you and Chuck back for what you did to the evil muffin!!!! I will get you back…

HornyPony!!!!!! Has signed off.

MyTeddy!!- OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has singed on.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou-I HAVE DEFEATE THE EVIL MUFFIN!!!!

MyTeddy!!- OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- what wrong with you?

MyTeddy!!- THE CYBER CUPCAKE IS AFTER ME!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- ah don't worry about him. He's bran.

MyTeddy!!- I thought only muffins can be bran??

TheHornyCyberCupcake- THAT'S NOT TRUE!

MyTeddy!!- HOLY CRAP! WERED U COME FROM?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- and what up with the screename?

TheHornyCyberCupcake- never underestimate the power of a cupcake….

TheHornyCyberCupcake has signed off.

MyTeddy!!- is he really gone?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I don't know

MyTeddy!!- im scared Chuck. and confused!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- why are you confused?

MyTeddy!!- if he's a cupcake, hows he typing?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- i dont know, Em. i dont know...

MyTeddy!! Has signed off.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed of.

* * *

**Haha random much? Lol I love this chapter, hope you did to. REVIEW PLZ!**


	36. Beat That!

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!!!!!!

Justin Bebier- PubertyHata

* * *

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed on

MyTeddy!! has signed on.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Hey Em!

MyTeddy!!- hey man!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- alright so what the hell were you and Rosalie doing last night? It felt like the house was gonna collapse!

MyTeddy!! - oh haha. Lets just say me and Rosie "pulled a Haiti!" if ya know what I mean!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- wow that's a weird way to word it.

MyTeddy!!- yes, yes it is! I bet no one can beat that!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Me and Ali can **so** beat that!

MyTeddy!!- oh ya? How?

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- we can pull a "Pearl Harbor!"… if ya know what I mean! Beat that!

MyTeddy!!- well me and Rosie are like the Twin Towers… we go DOWWWWWWWWN! Beat that!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- you know that shot heard round the world that started the Revolution? Well that was me and Alice! Beat that!

MyTeddy!!- oh ya? Well I can make it rain!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- I can make it hurricane!

MyTeddy!!- You know the song "Rock Your Body Like a Hurricane"? that's about me and Rosie!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- ya so is the song "Don't Trust Me" (30h3).

MyTeddy!!- that was low man!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- just like your IQ!

MyTeddy!!- jerk!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- haha calm down, I'm kidding!

MyTeddy!!- you better be! Other whys you would be a sorry SOB!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- suuurrrrre I would be!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed off.

MyTeddy!!- he was probably scared of my beastliness!

PubertyHata has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- who the hell are you?

PubertyHata- I'm Justin Bebier!

MyTeddy!!- who?

PubertyHata- you no, that really hot person who sing "One Time"?

MyTeddy!!- oh I'm sorry. I didn't no Justin can be a girls name.

PubertyHata- its not

MyTeddy!!- WOAH! Are u seriously telling me that "One Time" is sung by a BOY?

PubertyHata- yes

MyTeddy!!- what the hell is wrong with the world?

MyTeddy!! has signed off.

PubertyHata- psh whatta freak! Im gonna go stalk Usher some more!

PubertyHata has signed off.

* * *

HEYYYYYY! I FINALLY UPDATED! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha im SO sorry i havnt updated in such a long time, i've just been really busy! plus my computer broke and stuff so ya i am VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY! i will try to update more often!

anyways.... hope u liked this chapter! if ur confused by anything just pm me! lol hope u liked the " beat that" argument between Em and Jasper! it was fun to write! so ya lol, plz review and i will try to get another update in soon! THANK YOU!


	37. OMG

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!!!!!!

Justin Bieber- PubertyHata

* * *

MyTeddy!! Has signed on

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed on.

MyTeddy!!- OMG ITS JASPER!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Hey Em!

MyTeddy!!- Waz up buddy?

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Im watching "The Fast and Furious."

MyTeddy!!- WHAT?!? "THE FAST AND FURIOUS"? WHY ARE YOU WATCHING PORN? IM TELLING ALICE!!!!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- NO! no!!!! it's not porn!!!! It's a movie about car racing. You know like "gone in 60 seconds?"

MyTeddy!!- "Gone in 60 seconds"? now there is no way that is about car racing!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- it is! I swear! You can even come watch it with me!

MyTeddy!!- is that a porn invite? Im to loyal for that! Sicko!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Emmett, I swear to baby Jesus that it's not porn.

MyTeddy!!- *gasp* You just swore to baby Jesus! Hmm you must be telling the truth…

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Ya I am telling the truth!

MyTeddy!!- well that no fun!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- ummm ok then?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed on.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- EMMETT!

MyTeddy!!- CHUCKIE!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- EMMETT!

MyTeddy!!- CHUCKIE!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- EMMETT!

MyTeddy!!- CHUCKIE!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- EMMETT!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- JASPER!

MyTeddy!!- EMMETT!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- CHUCKIE!

MyTeddy!!- UR MOM!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- my mom?

MyTeddy!!- yes…

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou –COOL!

MyTeddy!!-I KNOW!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- umm I'm going to go…

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed off.

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- psh he is SO weird!

MyTeddy!!-oh I no!

*silence*

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- I want your ugly! I want your disease! I want you everything as long as its free. I want you love! Love love love I want your love!

MyTeddy!!- umm that's really sweet but you can't have my ugly, its mine. And I'm taking medicine for my disease, so you can't have that either. And my everything isn't free, you have to pay for it… as for my love… its already in use. I'm sorry!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- *sniffle sniffle* WAY TO KILL MY DREAMS!

MyTeddy!!-IM SO SORRY!!!!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- r u really?

MyTeddy!!- yes!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- WELL TO BAD!

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has logged off.

MyTeddy!!- what has his thong in a twist?

MyTeddy!! Has logged off.

* * *

Hay people! Lol, don't you just love Emmett and his stupidness? Lol I can't really blame him. I mean what kinds of names are "fast and furious" and "gone in 60 seconds"? haha you like Chuck's singing? If ur wondering, the song is Bad Romance by Lady gaga! Hope you liked the chapter! **Plz review!!! **Love ya all!

* * *

**Hello everyone! I got a review asking me to changing Michael Jackson's name because it was mean. I completely respect and understand the reviewer and where he/she was coming from. I would just like to say that I will not be changing the screen name but Michael Jackson will no longer be in the story, on the screen name list, or used in a disrespectful way in the story. I hope that this compromise will be ok with the people who were offended! If you have any comments or concerns please PM me! Thanks everyone! Enjoy the story!**


	38. LET'S GO HUNTING!

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!

Justin Bieber- PubertyHata

* * *

MyTeddy!has signed on.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed on.

MyTeddy!- OMG! Hey Jazzy!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Hi Emmett

MyTeddy!- DO YOU WANNA GO HUNTING?

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- not really… I just went like an hour ago…

MyTeddy!- SO? LET'S GO AGAIN!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- I don't want to

MyTeddy!- YES YOU DO!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- no not really…

MyTeddy!- YES!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- NO!

MyTeddy!- YES

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- NO!

MyTeddy!- *sigh* how do I say this in a way that you will understand? Ok, from now on I'm the Burger King and you're McDonalds. I'll have it my way and you'll be loving it!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- That doesn't even make sense!

MyTeddy!- it makes a lot of sense! Now the Burger King orders you to go hunting! So start loving it!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- NO!

MyTeddy!- OMG! Do you know what "no" stands for? It stands for notorious ostrages! Now let's go!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- WHAT? That makes even less sense then the Burger King!

MyTeddy!- IT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- No it doesn't.

MyTeddy!- stop saying notorious ostrages! LETS. GO. HUNTING!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- why should I?

MyTeddy!- Because there notorious and should be left alone!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- I'm taking about the hunting!

MyTeddy!- o that's easy… you should go because I'm the Burger King and were going to have it my way!

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- you're not going to give up are you?

MyTeddy!- Nope! So come on McDonalds, start loving it! I'm going to get my bib!

MyTeddy! Has signed off.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- what the hell just happened?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- Well my friend, you just got pwned by the Burger King

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- Where the hell did you come from?

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou- don't worry about it…

ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou has signed off.

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth- WHAT. THE. HELL?

EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth has signed off.

* * *

Hahaha, I know this chapter is super random and really weird, but it's my new personal fav! Hahaha I made it up at like 1 in the morning today!

Lol OMG ECLIPSE COMES OUT TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT! !

Hahaha mini spazz attack! Any who, plz review! I've been getting like no review what so ever so start reviewing and I'm not taking notorious ostrage as an answer! Hehe you know I love you guys! :D


	39. Id Catch A Gernade For You!

Disclaimer- unfortunately I don't own all the Twilight goodness

Bella- BiteMeNOW!

Edward- LikeAVirgin

Alice- SmallPersonBigCloset

Jasper- EMOtionalVampFromTheSouth

Emmett- MyTeddy!

Rosalie- DoesMyButtLookBig?

Carlisle- CarlizleFromTheHizzle

Esme- CarlizleIsInMYHizzle

Jacob- LonelyWolf

Charlie- Tranny'sTurnMeOn

Leah- BrokenBeondRepair

Chuck Norris- ChuckNorrisIsCoolerThanYou

Michael Jackson- HornyPony!

Justin Bieber- PubertyHata

* * *

BiteMeNOW! Has signed on.

LikeAVirgin has signed on.

BiteMeNOW!- Oh nana what's my name? oh nana what's my name?

LikeAVirgin- No no no NO! Bella you promised!

BiteMeNOW!- What? Edward what's wrong? What did I promise?

LikeAVirgin- You promised that you would never sniff a sharpie again!

BiteMeNOW!- But I haven't been sniffing sharpies!

LikeAVirgin- Then why are you forgetting you name? And why are you calling me your nana?

BiteMeNOW!- I'm not! It's a song by Rihanna called What's My Name!

LikeAVirgin- It's... a song?

BiteMeNOW- YES!

LikeAVirgin- I knew that…

BiteMeNOW!- No you didn't! You have no faith in me!

LikeAVirgin- Yes I do! I have all faith in you!

BiteMeNOW!- No you don't!

LikeAVirgin- Yes I do!

BiteMeNOW!- No!

has signed on.

- You know Edward, the first step of recovery is admitting your problems.

LikeAVirgin- First of, who the hell are you? And secondly what exactly is the problem that I have to admit?

- Admit that you don't have faith in her, not that I blame you…

BiteMeNOW!- HEY!

LikeAVirgin- But I do have faith in her!

- Sure you do…

has signed off.

BiteMeNOW!- :'(

LikeAVirgin- Bella I do have faith in you! I love you and I know you can do whatever you set your heart to.

BiteMeNOW!- AWWWWWWW!

LikeAVirgin- Always remember that-

BrunoMarsIsALadiesMan has signed on.

BrunoMarsIsALadiesMan - ID CATCH A GERNADE FOR YOU!

BiteMeNOW!- Wait what?

LikeAVirgin- WHOS THROWING GERNADES AT BELLA?

BrunoMarsIsALadiesMan- ID THROW MY HAND ON A BLADE FOR YOU!

BiteMeNOW!- Um thank you?

BrunoMarsIsALadiesMan- ID JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN FOR YOU!

BiteMeNOW!- What train?

LikeAVirgin- IS THAT A THREAT? IM GONNA KILL YOU! NO ONE THREATENS BELLA!

BrunoMarsIsALadiesMan- You know I'd do anything for ya! I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain! Yes, I would die for ya baby ; But you won't do the same

BiteMeNOW!- Ya, I don't usually catch grenades for strangers sorry…

LikeAVirgin- Hell ya you wouldn't catch a grenade for this freak! I would never let you anywhere that type of danger. Plus I could do all that stuff and survive!

BrunoMarsIsALadiesMan- Maybe, but I would look sexy doing it cuz IM AMAZING JUST THE WAY I AM!

LikeAVirgin- Wanna bet?

BiteMeNOW!- Well this just got really awkward so I'm gonna leave….

BiteMeNOW! Has signed off.

LikeAVirgin- Im leaving too freak

LikeAVirgin has signed off.

BrunoMarsIsALadiesMan- :(

BrunoMarsManger has signed on.

BrunoMarsManger- I told you that song would never work on the ladies!

BrunoMarsManger has signed off.

BrunoMarsIsALadiesMan has signed off.

* * *

OMG IM ALIVE! Haha I haven't updated since June? Even I know that that's sad. IM REALLY SORRY! My excuse is that I fail at life :)

Haha I hope you guys will forgive me and keep reading! My new year's resolution is to update WAY more often than I have in the past.

I'm really sorry again!

I hope you guys liked the chapter. i made it extra long since i havent updated in forever. I would like to say now that I LOVE BRUNO MARS AND RIHANNA AND I LOVE THEIR MUSIC AND THE SONGS THAT I USED IN THIS CHAPTER. Haha just had to put that out there. The songs I used are:

What my name- Rihanna Ft. Drake

Gernade- Bruno Mars

Just the way you are- Bruno Mars (I kind of used this song, not really… oh well it's a good song!)

(I don't own any of these songs)

**Also, i have started a new story called 100 Days. It is the complete opposite of this story, it is really serious. but if your intrested go read it! here is the summary:**

**It started as a thump, then a crash. A burst of startling pain, and then the burning. I woke up forever later in a white cell. There were 3 deathly pale men in the room. I didn't know who, what or where I was. They spoke in unison: "Welcome to Volterra"**

Well I think I have blabbed enough so without further ado

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

Please?

p.s

Follow me on Twitter. My name is:

noisynoora

thanks :)


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